Reflections
Almost a month after the last post I find myself still here, sitting at a small desk in my room, watching the rain fall, to post in this blog as having arguments everything and nothing at the same time.
more I will not try to make sense of this climate, but I will continue to complain, but did not see it as a limit, as a good Dutch.
The trees here have been put in front of large green leaves ... I forgot what they looked like.
And today, May 2, on a day of calm, I'm here to reflect on the past and what is passing, the wishes, on dreams, the importance of things, the future's past, the fears, certainties. I browse several thousand arguments, thinking, think and think.
I think as I was before leaving, it lasted that year of waiting. I think when I said goodbye to my city, my people. I think when I was in Rome. I think when I put the first foot in this house, and when, on entering this very room, I imagined the view from the window in those months that seemed unattainable as part of a future that would never have happened seriously, and but now that not only arrived, but it is already gone. I think of how many times I cried silently, thinking they had done The biggest mistake of my short life coming here, without telling anyone, because I did not believe, nor I still believe that someone would have understood the importance of those tears. I think back to what I was surrounded by strangers and how bad was that feeling. I think back to what I go wrong leaving me for a moment and affect almost all the early months of this year. And now?
Now we are in May. May. Come to think of me shrinks the stomach and on my face stand out at the same time a smile and lucciconi. Now everything is as I dreamed, as I wanted. And right now it's all about to end. And I will miss him. But that's what I learned, I learned to take joy from a rainbow, a smile from a piece of cake. I learned to ride in the rain, I learned not to see that there are no boundaries, I learned to grow by giving importance to what he deserves, and to respect the agreements necessary to see everything, or at least all that I can, so on . I learned that not everyone uses the napkins at the table, that if you live with for a while 'with the differences, even the most absurd and improbable, after a while' become yours and you do not even notice it. I learned to keep the rain let it happen, of course, still not quite in the calm, but my roots always influence, eh.
I learned that acting in certain ways there is nothing to gain, but that sometimes is still to be done. I should not snub for bias, although this is a bit 'difficult.
I learned to appreciate a country that I hated with my whole being, because I could not understand it. I regret to have chosen a billion times. But now a part of me is and will remain red-white-blue. Without realizing I left he took me, without realizing it came a time when the morning instead of bread and Nutella I started to eat bread and hageslag , a time when instead of going out to walk without hesitation I went out cycling , a time when alone at home even while I cooked dinner at six o'clock, a time when I started to greet and chat with neighbors smiling and playing with children. And now is the time when the Dutch prefer robin. An Italian in the Netherlands has a lot more to learn in the life of a Dutchman in Italy.
There's just to open up and let write such a book, and the differences become treasure, you just have to close your eyes and focus on well, and then the similarities become all you can see, the oddities that do not know just a touch of mystery to explain more. It 's a question of being able to see through the eyes right, to be able to comply.
Today, eight months and eleven days later, thirty-six weeks and two days later, two hundred fifty-four days later, I did not know and I can not wait to know not to know anything less.
Forgive me if I do not hear much, if not write much anymore. I just want to take advantage of these wonderful moments of joy that I built around me and I left to build around me from others.
soon, or maybe not.
Roberta
Bloemencorso, trip to Antwerp, walks through the tulip fields
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